Thursday, June 15, 2006

Wait! Don't go yet!

It's safe to say my aforementioned "hiatus" is still in effect, but a strange situation that took place before one of my finals got me to thinking about something worth sharing. Imagine this situation, which my fellow (former) college students should know all too well...

You sit down for an all-multiple-choice final and, because you're a reliable person, you've got your tiny green Scantron and sharpened pencils in hand. Then the dude next to you lets out a just-loud-enough-so-that-a-handful-of-people-can-hear-it yelp of "Fuck! I forgot a Scantron!", or some variation of that. Going back to that whole "reliable person" thing, you managed to buy an extra Scantron before the test, just to play it safe. Now, do you:

(A) Ignore this dude's cry for help, figuring that either another classmate will have an extra Scantron to spare or this dude will learn his lesson about not being prepared
(B) Offer him your extra Scantron out of the goodness of your own heart
(C) Offer him your extra Scantron for a small fee, say 50 cents, considering that you paid money for it and this guy certainly shouldn't get away with being forgetful off of your spare change
(D) Stab him in the eye with one of your pencils

After taking a couple of seconds to reflect on my options (and hum a David Hasselhoff tune to myself), I went with option number C. To my surprise, dude responded, "Do you really want money for it?" I responded that I did, and he handed me 2 quarters. Publicizing this will probably put me at risk for a few "cheap Jew" jokes, but it wasn't about the money -- I mean, I'm far from rich, but 50 cents isn't going to make or break me. It was all about principle. If I gave dude a Scantron and just let it slide, who knows what other future mishaps he'd think could be solved by the dependability of an unknown neighbor? I take pride in thinking that maybe, from now on, he'll think ahead in such situations. Furthermore, him questioning my request for payment rubbed me the wrong way -- I'm not the Scantron fairy, contrary to popular belief. If this was a person I had known for some time, giving them a Scantron of mine would be no big deal, but some random, forgetful douche like the one I encountered? He's got to pay.

Looking back on it all, I probably should've just gone with D.