FAME!

Here, the L.A. Daily News reports that USC standout running back, Heisman Trophy winner, devourer of UCLA Bruin pride, and future savior of the Texans, 49ers or Packers, Reggie Bush will soon be announcing his decision to go pro. The best thing about it is that my wallet currently holds the business card of the guy who is mentioned in the article as "advising" Bush. Long story short, this guy's kid is friends with my second cousin, they're like middle school age. I meet him at my cousin's birthday, we bullshit about sports, I ask him questions about his job (fan-boy status), and when I leave, he hands me his card telling me to contact him if I'd be interested in interning. My interest was pretty high when he mentioned negotiating Tony Gonzalez' last contract, but Reggie Bush? HEISMAN TROPHY winner Reggie FUCKING Bush!! Are you kidding me?? My second cousin better keep this guy's son a good friend. Shit, I'll drive 'em both to Six Flags right now! I'll even twist an ankle to get a wheelchair so we could cut through the lines! Fuck it, funnel cakes on me!

Continuing on with my recent string of newfound sports connections, check my Facebook to see the new friend I've made from Kansas University. These are just baby steps toward my eventual career hanging around someone famous, wearing nice clothes, mooching off their success. I almost can see it now... Stevie Drama. Rolls off the tongue.